While I was pregnant, even while we were trying to get pregnant, one of the things we discussed ad nauseam was what names we should go by for our child.
Should we both be Mom? Should we wait for him to 1) learn to talk (which takes a ridiculously short period of time in one’s imagination and does not even remotely resemble the very long waiting process in real life) and then 2) pick his own names for each parent?
We liked the idea of both parents going by “Mom,” but I had read some comments online by other lesbian parents who elected this option and found issues with it later. Namely, there was always a “Mom” and an “Other Mom” even when those roles switched depending on the situation. Although I don’t think it would’ve bothered Christi too much, I knew that I did not like the idea of me being “Other Mom.”
So, we elected to choose for ourselves. I would be “Mommy” and Christi would be “Mama.” Great. Now all we had to do was finish pregnancy, have baby, teach baby to talk, and then hear the magic words. Laugh Out Loud – easy, right?
The 1st time Lincoln called me “Mommy” was this past Thanksgiving weekend. Christi’s family was sitting around the table after dinner and we were talking about all the cutesy (and not-so-cutesy) stuff he had been up to. Christi was explaining to everyone that he is slowly starting to say words here and there like “cheese” (which sounds more like “shizzz”) and “no” and “Mama” (“Mama,” of course, is Christi).
Lincoln’s been saying “Mama” for about 5 months at this point. And he refuses to say “Mommy.”
So while she’s telling everyone about his new words, and while I’m yelling at the dogs who are going crazy in the living room, Lincoln looks straight at Christi and repeats “Mommy?”.
The table lets out a collective “awwwww” and everyone looks at me.
I had totally missed it.
That was the end of November – about three months ago – and I am still completely frustrated by this. On an almost nightly basis, we include practicing simple words (including “Mommy”) in the hopes that some day…SOME DAY…. You get the drift.
Anyway, last night I went into the bedroom after brushing my teeth and Christi announces that he’s been saying “Mommy” while I was getting ready for bed. Finally! After about fifteen minutes of trying to coax another “Mommy” from this little guy while I’m actually in the room…?
He. Just. Won’t. Say. “Mommy.”